McKing Cain Exposed

The Hunter for President campaign has uncovered flimsy evidence of the wasteful opulence of the McCain campaign. Unidentified sources say that McCain's surrogates have dubbed him McKing due to his constant and excessive demands for booze, whores, and debauchery. This photo was taken at a hotel just minutes before his entourage entered, gave him a sponge bath, and knelt before him to kiss his feet. The Republican candidate has reportedly been drinking up to a half gallon a day and partaking of those barely legal delights that pursue presidential power. McCain is King.

McCain Crowned King for a Day

McCain is Adored, Abhorred, and
Generally Overtly Despised
Read the full story at
The CCC

Look What I Done Bought At A Yard Sale

Man about town Mike Huckabee was caught shopping this weekend where he purchased a new outfit for the upcoming debate. Huckabee was heard chuckling at the low cost of his new oufit and said, "Nobody would dare to question me if I dress up like the Pope." On a swing through the South to promote his "Raise the Roof Tour 2008" he promised to make T-shirts and ball caps available to the public at a minimal cost. The Huck has committed to changing his clothes no less than once a week and is planning on debuting his latest bib overall outfit complete with Huckabee groupies dressed in matching "Raise the Roof" mini skirts. Send the kids to bed early. You won't want to miss this one.

Fred Thompson Says He's Ready To Fight

Fred Thompson came out swinging today after leaving the Fat Cat Fitness Club where he has been holed up since October. Thompson says he's, "Fit as a fiddle and ready for a good knock down drag out with his fellow candidates." Going into the primary race in the South, Thompson has entertained the idea of having a tag team match rather than the traditional debate. He plans to rent the Sunkist Stadium for the main event. It will be billed as "Fat Boy and the Huck versus Rudy and the Mitt". Rupert Murdoch has agreed to carry it on pay-per-view only if the candidate's wives agree to become "Ring Babes" for the evening. Stay tuned for further details.

McCain Sighting in California

Republican presidential candidate John McCain was sighted today on the lot of Warner Brothers Studio where he is busy making his new movie, Cainbo. Cainbo is a ruthless war hero driven insane by years of combat and hostilities. Now, back in the states, Cainbo is obsessed with going state to state in hopes of capturing delegates. As he captures them, they are transported to Cainbo's secret dungeon hideout where they are tortured until they agree that the surge is working. His torture techniques include being forced to hear him speak for minutes on end. Delegates are soon driven mad by the monotone drivel of Cainbo.

Who Was That Man?

Who was that man looking so dapper in the latest fashion as he arrived at La Guardia International on Saturday? Our sources tell us that it was none other than Rudy "The Butcher" Guiliani. It was rumored that he had just returned from an emergency meeting of the party faithful in the Catskills. Rudy cut an impressive swath as he headed into the next phase of the war on the American public. Rudy was overheard to say, "This isn't just about 9/11 anymore. For me it's personal. I'm a sick man, I need some help. God I wish Rummy would quit making me dress up like this on the weekends." Unidentified sources confirmed that Rudy was on his way to Florida where he will attack the immigrant population and terrorize the elderly retirees.

A Vote For Hunter is a Vote for (spare) Change

My fellow Americans,
Let's face it, I'm not your traditional candidate. That may be my best quality. After all, do you want the status quo? Do you want four more years of runaway debt, social stagnation, and the misdirection of failed policies? Do you really want Rudy "The Thug" Guilianni? His only claim to greatness is he happened to be a corrupt mayor who bungled his way through a major crisis. He simply rose to the level of his own incompetence. But the reality is, he's a despicable little man who would eagerly spread his cheeks and whore out the whole damn executive office to the highest bidder. John McCain? That old geezer is still living in the movie "Green Beret" and thinking he's John Wayne. We at least need a candidate that is living in this century. Or at least born in the last one. Do you like Mitt Romney? I've had influenza that was less nauseating. He's the most smarmy, obsequious, sleaze ball to hit the airwaves since Tammy Faye faded away behind a wall of make-up thick enough to make Avon blush. He's so lousy he had to use his own money because nobody else would give him the time of day. Mike Huckabee should be renamed Chucklebee. The guy's a bad joke waiting for a punch line. Do you really want him staring down the barrel of the new global threats that will rattle our infrastructure, cyberspace, and economy. After all, you're going to have to kill Bin Laden, not save him. And Fred Thompson is just a washed up ol' whore monger who can't even act presidential anymore. Sure, Edwards, Clinton, and Obama are all sweet enough, (aren't they cute at that age?) but this is not a Betty Crocker bake-off. The next President will need to be a world class leader such as Hunter. He's not prone to the corruption, self-serving piousness, and insidious greed that infects the current administration. He is ready to tackle the monumental conflagration that GW Bush will surely leave behind as his fecal ridden legacy dumps an indelible stain on history. Vote for Hunter. Send money today. Contact The Hunter for President Campaign at kieferz28@yahoo.com
(I'm Hunter and I approved this message)