like the Pope." On a swing through the South to promote his "Raise the Roof Tour 2008" he promised to make T-shirts and ball caps available to the public at a minimal cost. The Huck has committed to changing his clothes no less than once a week and is planning on debuting his latest bib overall outfit complete with Huckabee groupies dressed in matching "Raise the Roof" mini skirts. Send the kids to bed early. You won't want to miss this one.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Look What I Done Bought At A Yard Sale
Man about town Mike Huckabee was caught shopping this weekend where he purchased a new outfit for the upcoming debate. Huckabee was heard chuckling at the low cost of his new oufit and said, "Nobody would dare to question me if I dress up
like the Pope." On a swing through the South to promote his "Raise the Roof Tour 2008" he promised to make T-shirts and ball caps available to the public at a minimal cost. The Huck has committed to changing his clothes no less than once a week and is planning on debuting his latest bib overall outfit complete with Huckabee groupies dressed in matching "Raise the Roof" mini skirts. Send the kids to bed early. You won't want to miss this one.
like the Pope." On a swing through the South to promote his "Raise the Roof Tour 2008" he promised to make T-shirts and ball caps available to the public at a minimal cost. The Huck has committed to changing his clothes no less than once a week and is planning on debuting his latest bib overall outfit complete with Huckabee groupies dressed in matching "Raise the Roof" mini skirts. Send the kids to bed early. You won't want to miss this one.
Fred Thompson Says He's Ready To Fight
Fred Thompson came out swinging today after leaving the Fat Cat Fitness Club where he has been holed up since October. Thompson says he's, "Fit as a fiddle and ready for a 
good knock down drag out with his fellow candidates." Going into the primary race in the South, Thompson has entertained the idea of having a tag team match rather than the traditional debate. He plans to rent the Sunkist Stadium for the main event. It will be billed as "Fat Boy and the Huck versus Rudy and the Mitt". Rupert Murdoch has agreed to carry it on pay-per-view only if the candidate's wives agree to become "Ring Babes" for the evening. Stay tuned for further details.
good knock down drag out with his fellow candidates." Going into the primary race in the South, Thompson has entertained the idea of having a tag team match rather than the traditional debate. He plans to rent the Sunkist Stadium for the main event. It will be billed as "Fat Boy and the Huck versus Rudy and the Mitt". Rupert Murdoch has agreed to carry it on pay-per-view only if the candidate's wives agree to become "Ring Babes" for the evening. Stay tuned for further details.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
McCain Sighting in California
Republican presidential candidate John McCain was sighted today on the lot of Warne
r Brothers Studio where he is busy making his new movie, Cainbo. Cainbo is a ruthless war hero driven insane by years of combat and hostilities. Now, back in the states, Cainbo is obsessed with going state to state in hopes of capturing delegates. As he captures them, they are transported to Cainbo's secret dungeon hideout where they are tortured until they agree that the surge is working. His torture techniques include being forced to hear him speak for minutes on end. Delegates are soon driven mad by the monotone drivel of Cainbo.
r Brothers Studio where he is busy making his new movie, Cainbo. Cainbo is a ruthless war hero driven insane by years of combat and hostilities. Now, back in the states, Cainbo is obsessed with going state to state in hopes of capturing delegates. As he captures them, they are transported to Cainbo's secret dungeon hideout where they are tortured until they agree that the surge is working. His torture techniques include being forced to hear him speak for minutes on end. Delegates are soon driven mad by the monotone drivel of Cainbo.
Who Was That Man?
Who was that man looking so dapper in the latest fashion as he arrived at La
Guardia International on Saturday? Our sources tell us that it was none other than Rudy "The Butcher" Guiliani. It was rumored that he had just returned from an emergency meeting of the party faithful in the Catskills. Rudy cut an impressive swath as he headed into the next phase of the war on the American public. Rudy was overheard to say, "This isn't just about 9/11 anymore. For me it's personal. I'm a sick man, I need some help. God I wish Rummy would quit making me dress up like this on the weekends." Unidentified sources confirmed that Rudy was on his way to Florida where he will attack the immigrant population and terrorize the elderly retirees.
Guardia International on Saturday? Our sources tell us that it was none other than Rudy "The Butcher" Guiliani. It was rumored that he had just returned from an emergency meeting of the party faithful in the Catskills. Rudy cut an impressive swath as he headed into the next phase of the war on the American public. Rudy was overheard to say, "This isn't just about 9/11 anymore. For me it's personal. I'm a sick man, I need some help. God I wish Rummy would quit making me dress up like this on the weekends." Unidentified sources confirmed that Rudy was on his way to Florida where he will attack the immigrant population and terrorize the elderly retirees.
A Vote For Hunter is a Vote for (spare) Change
My fellow Americans,
Let's face it, I'm not your traditional candidate. That may be my best quality. After all, do you want the status quo? Do you want four more years of runaway debt, social stagnation, and the misdirection of failed policies? Do you really want Rudy "The Thug" Guilianni? His only claim to greatness is he happened to be a corrupt mayor who bungled his way through a major crisis. He simply rose to the level of his own incompetence. But the reality is, he's a despicable little man who would eagerly spread his cheeks and whore out the whole damn executive office to the highest bidder. John McCain? That old geezer is still living in the movie "Green Beret" and thinking he's John Wayne. We at least need a candidate that is living in this century. Or at least born in the last one. Do you like Mitt Romney? I've had influenza that was less nauseating. He's the most smarmy, obsequious, sleaze ball to hit the airwaves since Tammy Faye faded away behind a wall of make-up thick enough to make Avon blush. He's so lousy he had to use his own money because nobody else would give him the time of day. Mike Huckabee should be renamed Chucklebee. The guy's a bad joke waiting for a punch line. Do you really want him staring down the barrel of the new global threats that will rattle our infrastructure, cyberspace, and economy. After all, you're going to have to kill Bin Laden, not save him. And Fred Thompson is just a washed up ol' whore monger who can't even act presidential anymore. Sure, Edwards, Clinton, and Obama are all sweet enough, (aren't they cute at that age?) but this is not a Betty Crocker bake-off. The next President will need to be a world class leader such as Hunter. He's not prone to the corruption, self-serving piousness, and insidious greed that infects the
current administration. He is ready to tackle the monumental conflagration that GW Bush will surely leave behind as his fecal ridden legacy dumps an indelible stain on history. Vote for Hunter. Send money today. Contact The Hunter for President Campaign at kieferz28@yahoo.com
(I'm Hunter and I approved this message)
Let's face it, I'm not your traditional candidate. That may be my best quality. After all, do you want the status quo? Do you want four more years of runaway debt, social stagnation, and the misdirection of failed policies? Do you really want Rudy "The Thug" Guilianni? His only claim to greatness is he happened to be a corrupt mayor who bungled his way through a major crisis. He simply rose to the level of his own incompetence. But the reality is, he's a despicable little man who would eagerly spread his cheeks and whore out the whole damn executive office to the highest bidder. John McCain? That old geezer is still living in the movie "Green Beret" and thinking he's John Wayne. We at least need a candidate that is living in this century. Or at least born in the last one. Do you like Mitt Romney? I've had influenza that was less nauseating. He's the most smarmy, obsequious, sleaze ball to hit the airwaves since Tammy Faye faded away behind a wall of make-up thick enough to make Avon blush. He's so lousy he had to use his own money because nobody else would give him the time of day. Mike Huckabee should be renamed Chucklebee. The guy's a bad joke waiting for a punch line. Do you really want him staring down the barrel of the new global threats that will rattle our infrastructure, cyberspace, and economy. After all, you're going to have to kill Bin Laden, not save him. And Fred Thompson is just a washed up ol' whore monger who can't even act presidential anymore. Sure, Edwards, Clinton, and Obama are all sweet enough, (aren't they cute at that age?) but this is not a Betty Crocker bake-off. The next President will need to be a world class leader such as Hunter. He's not prone to the corruption, self-serving piousness, and insidious greed that infects the
current administration. He is ready to tackle the monumental conflagration that GW Bush will surely leave behind as his fecal ridden legacy dumps an indelible stain on history. Vote for Hunter. Send money today. Contact The Hunter for President Campaign at kieferz28@yahoo.com(I'm Hunter and I approved this message)
Saturday, January 19, 2008
This Just In
The Hunter for President campaign headquarters has uncovered evidence that Mitt Romney is human. Romney critics have espoused the theory that Mitt was actually an inflatable poly-ethylene caricature based on a Herman Mellvile short story character. Our campaign has seen Romey show his ass and act like a prick. Our tireless intelligence department has uncovered a photograph of Mitt admitting his humanness. Here we see Romney on a recent missionary trip proclaiming that he is for real.
Friday, January 4, 2008
We Desperately Need Campaign Donations
'Cause I've got a drinkin' problem!
There is one thing I have learned from running for office. If you want to buy an election, it will not be cheap. This running for President thing is expensive. Plus, my campaign manager has expensive tastes and likes to spend your money freely on women, booze, and debauchery. Please help us out and contact our campaign office at kieferz28@yahoo.com. We will instruct you on how to transfer a large sum of cash to our personal bank account where we will launder it in minutes. I can also tell you that the campaign donation is tax deductible. It would not be true, but I can tell you that it is.
With the race heating up, the time is right for launching our arsenal of negative attack ads. Don't be fooled by Republicans that are selling their integrity for cents on the dollar. Get in on the real thing, the Hunter Bandwagon, and buy yourself some real access to the next President of the United States of America -- Hunter. (I'm Hunter and I approved this message)
Bio
Former Governor of the Great State of Confusion. I have not been tainted by exposure to any elected office in the US. I am free of corruption, greed, and will not be the typical politician that is laden with malfeasance and incompetence. I am the one candidate that can bring real change to the country.
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