We Desperately Need Campaign Donations

'Cause I've got a drinkin' problem!

There is one thing I have learned from running for office. If you want to buy an election, it will not be cheap. This running for President thing is expensive. Plus, my campaign manager has expensive tastes and likes to spend your money freely on women, booze, and debauchery. Please help us out and contact our campaign office at kieferz28@yahoo.com. We will instruct you on how to transfer a large sum of cash to our personal bank account where we will launder it in minutes. I can also tell you that the campaign donation is tax deductible. It would not be true, but I can tell you that it is.
With the race heating up, the time is right for launching our arsenal of negative attack ads. Don't be fooled by Republicans that are selling their integrity for cents on the dollar. Get in on the real thing, the Hunter Bandwagon, and buy yourself some real access to the next President of the United States of America -- Hunter. (I'm Hunter and I approved this message)